The Scotsman's Kilt

edited March 2009 in Poets Corner
Well, a Scotsman dressed all in his kilt
Left the bar one evening fair
You could tell by the way he walked
That he'd drunk more than his share
He stumbled on until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he staggered off into the grass
To sleep beside the street
About that time two young and lovely lasses
Came walking by
One said to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true that her wears nothing neath his kilt?
So they crept up on the sleeping Scotsman
Quiet as could be
And lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there before their wondering eyes
Beneath his Scottish skirt
Twas nothing more than God had graced him with
Upon his birth
They marveled for a moment
Then one said we must be off
But let's leave him a souvenir before we travel on
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon
Tied into a bow
Around the bonney star the Scotsman's kilt
Did lift and show
Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call
And headed for the trees
He lifted up his kilt
And then he gawks at what he sees
And in his druken voice he says
To what's before his eyes
"Well, lad I don't know where you're been
But I see you've won first prize
Our Scotsman friend, still dressed in kilt
Continued down the road
He hadn't gone ten yards or more
When a girl he chanced to meet
She said, "I've heard what's under there"
"Tell me if it's so"
He said put your hand up neath me kilt
If you'd really like to know
Well she put her hand right up his kilt
And much to her surprise
The Scotsman smiled and a very strange look
Came into his eyes
She said, "Why Sir, that's gruesome!"
Then she heard him roar
"If you put your hand up once again
You'll find it's grew some more"


  • for those who want to hear it..... 
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